Yule Shoot Your Eye Out

The following is a summary of my week so far:

Monday: Cleaned up the house

Tuesday: Cleaned up some more and spent the whole day baking cakes and cleaning up and painting my doorway and dying my roots and doing other household related things

Wednesday: The guests arrive, all of them are my mother's and her husband's friends, none of whom I actually know. My neighbour sends her weird niece over to meet me because we are the same age. She is 20. I am 17. She says she wants to go to Uni in London. She doesn't speak english. She is a moron. With wild eyes. Wild racist eyes.

Thursday: I wake up after a couple of hours sleep to a trashed house and the sound of a very high pitched laughter that, amazingly, is a man's. This preturbs me deeply, and I am further ailed by the discovery that someone has broken my recently purchased lipstick.

Today: Cleaning up. And making a list of people to kill for breaking my stuff and stealing one of my most prized possessions.

IN CONCLUSION: Christmas with a house full of strangers sucks. I knew it would. And my expectations were certainly met. Not only did I wrap up my own present, it wasn't even what I had asked for two months ago. Apparently it was too short notice. Note to self: figure out what you want for next christmas, so that you actually get it on time.

I actually thought that maybe my mother would give me something really thoughtful instead of something that she wanted for herself. No way JOSE!

And there is no point in cleaning your house for people because all they do is make it worse than it was in the first place, the ungreatful fucks.

And my hypothesis that Christmas is total bollocks has been certified and accepted. Because Christmas IS total bollocks. And so are your parent's friends.

Moving on from festive bollockery, the only thing Christmas is good for is that you don't have work/school for two weeks or so. And this means you can spend your evenings in front of the TV watching pretty good films!

As you see, this blog is coming towards you at the speed of a retarded snail, and so it has been approximately ten days since le Noel, and all of the above actually happened LAST YEAR!

One word of advice my blogging friends: NEVER have complete strangers in your house during Christmas (or any other time of the year), and NEVER spend NYE in the company of your family and a fat man who looks like Hurley from Lost, watching the countdown on TV.

Sad.